Great read! I love all your citations.

Growing up in the 90s, I distinctly remember my family suspecting that one of my younger cousins was "gay" - and his father was specifically concerned about it. From a young age, he was very docile, had an interest in dolls, and was very attached to his mother. He had no interest in sports, which was a stark contrast to his older brother.

While his older brother was celebrated for his athleticism, the younger was constantly overshadowed. When he didn't excel at the sports they forced him to play, they left him at the wayside. His parents put all their money into his older brother's sports, and forgot to give their little one the opportunity to flourish in his interests.

Now, over 20 years later, it's abundantly clear the damage this caused. He wasn't just deprived of exploring his interests or feeling safe to be himself, but he was completely overshadowed by his older brother - because he had the personality and interests boys "should" have.

His parents are trying to make up for it now, but there's a long road ahead, and a lot of damage to be undone. (And it turns out he isn't "gay", not that it matters anyway - he was always just a kid who likes what he likes.)