I feel so validated by everything you just said - but also sorry that you've had such a rough experience.

I wish it would go without saying that "sex is not like a pelvic exam." People seem to have this idea that if you're okay with having sex, you should be okay with having an exam. Despite there being nothing natural about the process of a Pap smear -- and intimacy with a trusted partner is not equivalent to a stranger prodding you with tools in a sterile office.

And you're exactly right; it's no coincidence that issues regarding women's health are disproportionately mishandled and understudied.