I was absolutely enamored with Ben Barnes when he played the General in Shadow & Bone - for all the reasons you described. He tirelessly pursues the protagonist in a way that appears romantic with all the bells & whistles of filmmaking.

But of course I don't actually want some immortal, power-hungry narcissist to stalk me into eternity. I don't want to be manipulated, threatened, or downright attacked. Even if they look like Ben Barnes!

Fantasy is fun because it's fantasy. Like you pointed out, there's reasons it can be attractive. But it doesn't mean it's what anyone wants in reality.

Great essay! Thanks for sharing.